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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Couples Counseling

Last week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Alexis threw the most obnoxious birthday party in history, Slade looked at rings, Tamra told Eddie to put his money where Simon's tattoo was, and Briana called Vicki out on Brooks' shadiness and her emotional affair on Donn. This week, Slade and Gretchen go to couple's counseling and Brooks supports Vicki

. Let's break it all down in THG's official +/- recap! Vicki says Briana was disrespectful during their fight. Brooks shows up to her office to bring her coffee and says that she knows she's not a perfect person but she thinks she's a perfect mom.

Um, I'm thinking you can't be an imperfect person and a perfect mom since moms are people too, Vicki. Minus 10. Vicki's crying into her coffeecake over the fight with Briana and how disrespectful and rude Briana was.

Brooks says Briana was honest as she sees things and what parent wouldn't want a child who can be honest? Then Vicki says Briana called him an opportunist. He ends up saying he doesn't take any of this personally.

Heather meets her friend Dina for lunch to talk about acting and Harrison Ford and life choices and Heather's name. She's thinking of changing from her professional name, Heather Paige Kent, to her personal name, Heather Dubrow, permanently. She says one of the reasons she didn't take Terry's name is because no one knows how to pronounce it.

But, she's moving forward with the change. After something like 10 years of marriage. Plus 10. Slade and Gretchen are chilling around the house with the dogs and Gretchen says she wants the two of them to go to couple's counseling to talk about his debt issues and their future. She wants babies because her clock is ticking.
Slade agrees to therapy. I know Tamra may not like the guy, but I do. Plus 5.
Alexis is going to a photo shoot for Alexis Couture. Alexis is going to be the model of her line and is excited that this is her first spread in a magazine. Except Alexis needs to get home to Jim and the kids. She rushes the photographers and is kind of a pain in the assets. Minus 15.

She may be slightly delusional about how blown up her dress line will be in the next year, but she's slightly delusional about everything. Heather goes to the DMV to change her name and get a new license and cracks jokes with the employees. They don't laugh. I think they're paid not to laugh, really. And her jokes were kind of bad. Tamra and Eddie are headed to a meeting with other people who've opened a fitness studio so she can understand what she's getting herself into. She's inspired to do this in part by her dad who opened a car repair shop to support his family after being fired from his job. Plus 5.

They meet with a gym owner who's doing what she wants to do and asking all the right questions. Then she finds out that her dream is doable with her budget. Plus 10 for good karma. Vicki's at the office again and she's planning a girl's trip. The first person she calls is Alexis, which is weird. Vicki wants to go to Costa Rica and Alexis thinks Costa Rica is in Mexico. HAHAHAHAH.

Plus 5 for the laughs. Minus 5 to Gretchen's voicemail directing people to call Slade to get in touch with her. All the girls are in. Tamra says Heather will bring the most luggage but Alexis will bring the most baggage. Heather goes to visit Terry at work. She leads with "I have a surprise for you." He asks "Is it expensive?" She shows him the paper where she's changed her name and he tears up.

Plus 30 because I love these two so much! They're tied for best couple with Kroy and Kim over in Atlanta. Terry says he was so emotional because it didn't seem real that she didn't have his name. "15 years and four kids and it didn't seem real?" Heather replies. I love her. Tamra and Eddie meet with a group of fitness instructors as potential teachers and trainers at their new studio. They want original classes. Eddie's pretty intrigued by the contortionist who puts both of her legs behind her head.

Can I take points away from him for being male? Slade and Gretchen are stuck in traffic on their way to their counseling appointment. With the way they're going on in the car, it's a good thing they're going to therapy. Gretchen says she's helped him a time or two and could definitely make all the financial problems he has go away, but she can't because that would be enabling him and it wouldn't help him.

Plus 10, Gretchen, for not taking the easy way out.  Gretchen says Slade has been telling her for three years that things would be worked out and she's not seeing them get worked out. He says he's been taken away from handling his own business because he takes care of so much of her stuff. Then the therapist steps in and asks if there's something Slade can do make Gretchen more confident. Slade admits that he could be doing a better job at cleaning up his past so that he can move forward, but Gretchen's his distraction. The therapist tells Slade to make an appointment with himself, so he does. From 10:00 to 2:00 every day, he's working on stuff. Gretchen doesn't trust him. Minus 15.

Alexis has invited Tamra to lunch to clear the air before Costa Rica. Alexis thinks their friendship went off course and she wants to get them back on track. Tamra says they're just two different people right now. Alexis brings up Bunco night and says Tamra was rude that night.

Tamra says Alexis was out of line. Talk turns to Alexis' various surgeries and how she has to justify them and Alexis says she never lies about the work she has done. Tamra says Alexis needs to be more secure with who she is and says the bottom line is that the two of them have nothing in common. Then Alexis says she's looking for Tamra to be authentic with her.
Uh, Alexis, she IS being authentic with you. Tamra tells Alexis that Alexis is the most shallow person she's ever met and that she's so phony Terry can see it. Minus 20 to Tamra for bringing Terry into this. Alexis is clearly flustered and leaves lunch in a huff. EPISODE TOTAL: -10! SEASON TOTAL: -160! Next week, the ladies head to Costa Rica (which is NOT in Mexico) and pile on the Alexis-is-fake bandwagon.